Pointlessness

First, some bobJuan blubber.

They can easily sense where his truth lies (you know how truth lies).

It seems like I'm wasting a lot of time lately, reading and writing. But truth is, I've been preparing for this a long time.

Smile until you get it right.

Oh, I see the pointlessness of it all now.
Each time I forget how pointless it all is, I get lost.
Once pointlessness is fully realized, you can love recklessly,
let it off the leash!
What you want is great by me, let's do it.

My goodness, I just assumed you were taken.

You can think better, you know you can.

I'm more interested in what's going on outside of my mind these days. I think I already thought everything I'm going to anyway, it seems like I'm repeating myself.
I can sense that if I just took the universe as it is, without processing it like I always do, I might explode, realizing that I am it.

Now a little short story:

Some of you already know I swore off going to the doctor a couple of years ago. It happened after I spent more than an hour on the phone with my Dr.s Office, Walgreens and my Insurance company trying to get a prescription for lipitor or something. I was like, it just shouldn't be so hard for me to get the drug my Dr. wants me to have. About that time I was also constantly being reminded of my blood pressure, my weight, BMI, blood sugar, all these numbers of mine were not in the good zone, am i these numbers? So many obsessions. I just quit. I hearkened back to a time when we didn't have all this; we died at a ripe old age of 40 or 50 or 60 or even 70 years of whatever was ailing us and our age. What's so damn wrong with that? There is no shame in dying the old fashion way, people have been doing it for a long long long time.

So, this week I have an annoying case of gout going on in my big toe. I've been trying the natural remedies, eating lots of the right fruits, etc. I aint gonna quit drinking coffee in the morning and booze at nite, at least not yet. Yesterday it was getting pretty bad so I decided to get some of the medicine my Dr. used to prescribe, indomethacin. I called my old Dr, cuz he's quick with the script. His nurse calls me back and says, Bob, where you been? We haven't seen you since 19,2007? What are you doing out there? You trying to make it on your own, without us? I pictured them thinking I was some rogue human who dared to turn his back on their profession, the way, risking my own demise, like some village idiot.

From some real people:

If it's not paradoxical, it's not true. Shunryu Suzuki.

[Image stolen from here.]