Monkey Free!

20 Minutes

You may remember a little over a year ago, I did a little ditty about my monkey here. In many ways my monkey has been my first true love for 32+ years. I mean obviously she's been the most important thing in my life, given the amount of time and attention I've devoted to her, not to mention how much $$ I spent on her! Nothing else in my life got even close to getting between me and her. And no matter how many times I've tried to leave her, and it's been hundreds, I always let my #1 Squeeze (or is that wheeze) back. Usually within a week. All my intimates know that when I say she's gone for good, it's just a wink-wink affair, and that they'll see me with her at our next social engagement. I kick her out, and then two or three days later, I'm sneaking around with her, bit-by-bit until the next thing you know, she's back on the porch full time. My girl Cathy has been very patient and kind about all this. It must be difficult to share me with such a wicked bitch porch-monkey! About 3 months ago, on March 6th, I kicked 20 Minutes out for the last time. I can blog with absolute certainty that I'm finally on the other side. After 32 years of pacifying her every 20 minutes of every single day I can also say that I KNOW what that game is like; been there, done that, and it's time to move on. For the first 2 months after I kicked her out, I got myself a stuffed sock monkey to have out on the porch. Seemed easier than having a cold turkey hanging around. And it was. And though she wasn't quite the same, she comforted me until I could get completely over 20 Minutes, and for that I am grateful. But now, even the little-friend monkey can't be found around these parts. Don't ask me where she went, I bet you can find her at Walgreen's, that's where I got her. I'm now monkey free. If I can do it, anyone can!