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For those of you who are interested in this sort of thing, Blogisattva just released some awards for some blogs of interest. Awesome. Check it out: Blogisattva

Final Gifts - Book Review

Just finished the book, Final Gifts tonite. Since I started volunteering for Hospice last year I've read quite a few recommended books on the subject. This one is probably the sweetest, easiest and informative in terms of helping us be a part of this for our loved ones. It's a gentle touch that may be best for someone who is a bit nervous about the subject. The authors are a couple of Hospice nurses, and have some wonderful stories to tell. It had me getting a tissue out a couple of times; the sweetness of families being together at the right time. But more importantly they have packed the book with practical information about the observations they've made over the years. Dealing with folks who are nearing death and their loved ones. In fact they use the term Nearing Death Awareness to describe the process. In my own case, I can get the heebeejeebees around dying people somewhat, and it's a frightening time for sure. What to say, what do do, what's happening? These beautiful ladies cover a lot of ground here and give beaucoup information and advice on what's happening; answering these kinds of questions. It seems to me that the most natural, intrinsic thing that happens to someone who is born is that they are going to die. In our culture, in my own circle of friends and family, this is still such a taboo subject unfortunately. For something so downright inevitable to be eschewed so fervantly is kind of silly to me. So, if you're looking for a way to embrace this a bit, I highly recommend this book. It helped me and I plan on referring to it often as I get the opportunity to be around some fellow souls getting ready to head on to the other side.

Closing the Gap

Probably about 15 or so years ago Eli and I watched a television show together about a father and his son who went deep-sea fishing. It was fun-enough. Towards the end of the show the dad talked about closing the gap between him and his son. Since then Eli and I work on getting our gap closed every chance we get! We also work on getting our grub, drink and absurdity ON too! It's always a blast no matter what; but even funner when the boy is able to pay part of his own damn way! This past Christmas we put together a plan to do a little trip together that would include him doing some skydiving, and then us heading down to Bisbee, Arizona for an over-nighter, just being us. I had taken him down that way when he was probably about 10, and he just has the fondest memories of that gap-closer! We left the house Thursday morning and headed down to Eloy, the Drop Zone. Eli headed off to meet his buddies for some jumping and I went over to the Toltec Healing Arts Center for a much-needed massage. By the time my massage was over Eli had already made his one and only jump for the day, the winds were picking up and sissies weren't allowed to fly anymore! We joined some of his buddies at the Bent Prop Saloon for a couple of cold ones and some lunch, and then bid adieu to those fine folks and headed south! On I10, just on the other side of Picacho Peak there's the Rooster Cogburn Ostrich Ranch, a place that I've waited long enough to see. We paid our $5.00 a piece (we were already way into our budget after the morning at the Drop Zone, what the heck!) and went inside! Here we fed deer, ostrich and then some beautiful birds. The birds are called Rainbow Lorikeet. Too cool. Next up, we drove over to Big Nose Kates saloon in Tombstone, Arizona for a cocktail. Eli also checked out the Boothill Graveyard, not being one to pass up another chance to spend a couple bucks! They called it a donation. Then down to Bisbee, Arizona. Here we stayed at the Shady Dell trailer park. Eli and Amber had seen this place on the Travel Channel, and decided this was THE place to stay in Bisbee. Sorry Amber, maybe next time. So Eli books us into the Home Made for $45.00 a nite and proudly calls to tell me he's taken care of our lodging. I looked the place up and talked him into upgrading to the Air Float. A bathroom would be nice. Besides, the Air Float is totally birched-out! Of course I had to pick up the $105. Highly recommended joint for a romantic stay for two. After checking in and getting settled we headed into town. First a couple of drinks at the Stock Exchange Bar (sorry no pics/website). Here we met Wolf, a guy who looks like he lives in Bisbee, and as it turns out he does. He read our tarot cards where we found out that we're both a couple of home-bodies and should get out more! We couldn't wait to tell the girls! Turns out, Eli is a risk taker too! Well, 1 outta 2 ain't bad. Dinner at the Bisbee Grill. Then down for some nite-nite. The next morning we went down into Naco, old Mexico for the worst tacos I've ever had. Can't help myself, prefer the places on the street. Yuk. Funny thing was they charged us $6.00 for 4. But by then, we were into spending hard and fast! Eli was trying to find a different gel for Amber, to no avail. Amber, always wanting to be different. It's a love thing between those two! Anyway, unless you've never been to old Mexico, and you just happen to be down that way, don't waste your time in Naco. From there we headed over through Sierra Vista and stopped at Ramsey Canyon for a quick walk around their loop trail. There was snow! Nice little nature break and just about $6.00 more on account of my membership with the Nature Conservancy. And then around and down into Patagonia, one of my favorite places in Arizona. We sat down for $20.00 worth of sandwiches at the Gathering Grounds cafe. Great food, sure was nice to put something healthy on top of the taco from naco! Afterwards we decided to head home. There's nothing better than hanging out with your favorite son in southern Arizona; just a couple of days of letting go and enjoying each other and this world we live in. I won't post here how much the trip cost because it's always embarrassing, and sometimes my Cathy reads my blog. But, what kind of price can you put on closing the gap!

Spare some change?

I just came back from Sprouts, my local, favorite grocery store. For years in that parking lot, on occasion, not really too often, you can find a soul who is wandering around from shopper to shopper, asking for money. It's been a while. When I was working downtown every day you pretty much couldn't go outside without getting an opportunity to give. And it was there in downtown Phoenix, about a year ago, I had a rare epiphanie. It took a little math, but I got there. Now most of you sweethearts probably figured this out back when you had high-school math and have been giving like crazy!; but I missed it all. I always got the feeling when I saw it coming; of wishing it wouldn't, "He's gonna ask if I have any spare change", in some silly avoiding way. And hey, if you see it every day you get kind of de-sensitized to it after a while. So you walk by, hoping to miss the uncomfortableness of it all. And often say no (sometimes lying, sometimes not). You know they're lying, they don't want money for food, it's for drugs or alcohol or some terrible thing that I don't want to have any part of! Then one day, I got to thinking about it all. How I would prefer to err on the side of generous, and give with abandon whenever possible, without judgment. And this is where the math came in. I reasoned, that in a given year I bet I don't get asked for money more than 20 times? Is it 50? Probably not. So if every time I'm asked and then give, it would cost me less than a carton of smokes! Now we're dealing in numbers I can work with! So today the opportunity came my way again, and right away I remembered my program, and was ready to give baby! The fun thing is that it's no longer a problem. You know what's gonna happen, a transaction, a moment to be kind. And because there's no resistance you can actually have a nice conversation, listen a bit to their story, and then, whip out a big fat dollar bill! Or whatever your favorite denomination is, 50 cents, whatever. I looked this guy in the eye with all the compassion I have and felt great to be there for him, listening to his story. Driving away, singing, It's another day for you and me in paradise!

Today's Joy

Joy, peace and what’s it all about Alphie? Yesterday on my drive into the office I was still working with my meditation from earlier in the morning. I had been doing my best to sit and watch my breath and be present. As usual I hardly could, and started fighting with myself about what’s the point. I have been reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche and have been embracing the idea that our mind-essence lives forever, and that this is a great time to get on with the karmic implications of that. I believe this stuff. Check out this excerpt from the book: In the Sufi Master Rumi’s Table Talk, there is this fierce and pointed passage: The master said there is one thing in this world which must never be forgotten. If you were to forget everything else, but were not to forget this, there would be no cause to worry, while if you remembered, performed and attended to everything else, but forgot that one thing, you would in fact have done nothing whatsoever. It is as if a king had sent you to a country to carry out one special, specific task. You go to the country and you perform a hundred other tasks, but if you have not performed the task you were sent for, it is as if you have performed nothing at all. So man has come into the world for a particular task, and that is his purpose. If he doesn’t perform it, he will have done nothing. I love this task! But, it came to me, on the road to work, that I really don’t know if I can believe all this. As much as I do, or want to, it’s certainly an act of faith. Even with the limited understanding I have of the underlying science (nothing dies, it just keeps changing), the detailed description of what’s really happening after this life is a stretch, lacking any proof if you will; like the heaven we talked about in Sunday School when everyone called me Bobby. It takes what we call faith. And as much as this faith is something I embrace and value, it is no more than that. I believe that there is an after life, good for me, and if I really do believe then this is a great day/time to be preparing myself (working on my purposeful task). I love this stuff. I could go on and on about it, but not right now. So, who am I, and what am I doing here, and why am I doing it? If I throw out all the faith-based ideas and searching for ways to get my Karma-ON, and still manage to become still, and ask myself these questions quite seriously, I often come to “what am I to do?” And if nothing else, I decide that I should be joyful! At least that! And you know what else; this is pretty easy stuff to take care of! So, what makes me joyful is where this goes. And I currently find myself with the following list:

• To be utterly kind to absolutely everything in my universe
• To enjoy every single moment I am alive
• To be helpful to everyone that I encounter
• To wonder at the fantastic display of life that is around me all the time
• To take responsibility for my happiness and the things I love
• To embrace teachings and a faith that helps me accomplish my particular task!

And the ever most profound mantra! Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Life is but a dream.

Conditions

This morning's meditation. If this is not the moment of peace, what is it that is missing? What more do I need to "get done"? A theme that has occurred to me many times is "what exactly am I waiting on?" What could be more insane than continuing to put off peace? As Thich Nhat Hahn says, the conditions for peace are already here, why try and go get more conditions? The reason this appeals to me is that it gives me a sense of done, or as Jesus said, It is finished. And by this, I mean the struggle is done, seen for what it is, a cycle of insanity that can be stepped out of, put aside. If I was gonna get "there" I would have got "there" by now! So let's try another way. From this place, love comes easy because acceptance is in front. I sense the absence of selfishness rising, and all things are now in my care. Every single thing, is my responsibility. I am here to care for it, to love it, all of it. My life is right where it needs to be. The conditions are ripe for love. A setup for this is the koan, or expression "There is nothing I dislike", attributed to some cat named Linji. By putting that kind of energy into my heart and mind, things get lighter quicker, real quicker. And from that place of lightness, by clearing out the resistance to things, love can come in. As much as I've tried, I haven't been able to "dislike my way into happiness". Try it as an experiment for a few minutes, or for the day if you're so lucky. A smile comes a lot easier, a softness. I am here for you.

How Far Is Heaven?

I'm pretty sure there is a popular song right now, seems really pretty as I recall, with maybe that title? Smooth. Anyway, good segue into today's deep thoughts by Jack Handy, errr. bobJuan. Wow, segue, another spelling miracle! Is this heaven? It's so beautiful here. There's these four legged, furry creatures running and hanging around, apparently for no other reason other than to love, to enjoy themselves and me (no, really, no other good reason!) They're soft, warm, and smell of the fresh earth (at least my backyard). Little miracles. There is this sky above, blue is the color, my favorite. With all this air to breath and food to eat. Oh my goodness, sweet, hearty, tasty morsels of all shapes, colors, textures. Then, this body I'm "in", feels fun (most of the time), gets me into places, out of places (thank God), lets me feel it all. And the place is just teeming with "others" like me, who love to work and play, and love, and serve. We got nothing better to do all day long! Sometimes I wonder, is this heaven? If there is such a thing, could it be better than this? Could it be more beautiful? Do I possibly need more than this? I think the idea of heaven as somewhere else, some other time to come; is perhaps the biggest sin, the greatest excuse for so much pain and destruction. If you believe in God, you must believe he created this place for us? Perfect job. If we believe this is not enough, or heaven is somewhere else, it seems we can become lazy, impatient and start to get ourselves into trouble. The idea that there is more to come is behind so much dissatisfaction and life-zapping judgment. How can this, what we have right now be so insignificant? This chair, this moment, my wife getting ready for her day, is this not wonderful? Is this not why I'm here? Heaven it seems, happens when I quit needing or wanting things to be different. Look around without grasping, see how it is without my habitual lens. There is only one response then that comes, it makes so much sense, and that is love. Love can come when you clear your resistance to how things are. They're just what they are. Have you ever spent a few minutes just letting it be, letting it go? With love then, all manners of joy and inspiration can get moving in my life because I am totally free from the ideas that things need to be different. What a relief. And as soon as I let it all go, and let it all in, life starts to be more amazing, and it seems that heaven is close.

School Daze

As part of my mid-life-crisis realignment, I enrolled in some classes at Phoenix College this spring semester. Tonite I went to my first class (SWU291 - Social Service Delivery Systems). On Monday I start my other class (SWU102 - Introduction to Social Work). I'm looking for some improvements in my GPA this semester (no math!). It's been a while since I've been at school. It's nice to be back on that campus. I have taken the majority of my college classes there over the past 25 years or so. You know, things like Conversational Spanish, Psychology, Successful Parenting (that one didn't take!), Public Speaking, History of Mexico, and yes, a Math 041 class or something like that! I have been trained in all kinds of good stuff! This past year, as I've poked around looking for non-IT work (non-profit work) it has become apparent to me that there are two levels of jobs in the non-profit world. There are the jobs I qualify for, which pay between $8 and $10 per hour (if you're lucky) depending upon experience (so that puts me closer to 8!), or the more I'll say interesting jobs that all require a degree of some sort! Now, I'm ready for those lower paying jobs emotionally, but we're gonna have to sell our house first, and I'm gonna really have to do some sweet-talkin to my Cathy to make that work out over the long run! Financially, it would pretty much be a buzz-kill! Not that a Social Worker is taking their next vacation to Maui to hang out with Wayne Dyer and Ram Dass or something like that! I volunteer for Hospice. As a volunteer your role is pretty much limited to some hand-holding, supporting, shopping, driving; very wonderful, non-professional roles. I absolutely love every bit of it, and do not refer to this part of the Hospice team disparagingly. I plan on volunteering this way forever if I can. However, I have this feeling that the Social Workers and Nurses are able to play at a different level with the patients, and that interests me. They are, by nature of their role in this, allowed to ask tougher questions, get involved, make a difference in some more interesting ways than I can as a volunteer. For example, a Social Worker can ask how's the family, how are you all dealing with this, what can we do to make things better? I guess I can do this as a volunteer, need to check with my coordinator I think! Probably better to get a Social Worker Degree. So, I get to figurin, I'm 51, I'm gonna be around a while, why not get started and see where this can go? I would really love to be in a situation where I can serve people, really help them out, and apparently that's what Social Work is all about. One of the definitions from Danny Webster for Social is: of or relating to human society , the interaction of the individual and the group, or the welfare of human beings as members of society. So off we go. Again, as I put myself in situations of service I find that I am surrounded by women. In this class there are 21 of us including the instructor. There are two of us that are of the male gender. Nathaniel is my brother in this room. We're gonna stick together! I'm excited about being involved and getting into the game. The class is primarily about learning how to use the systems available to serve folks. We'll be doing some case-work, volunteer work, etc. This is the first time I've been to college because I wanted the education, the background, and the degree. Perhaps it will take this time! There is some more math required, so we'll take a wait-and-see attitude on this.

Some more words, and thoughts...

I am amazed at how many words there are, crazy! Sometimes I see them and have used them, like traipse, but would not have known how to spell them, or in some cases, like euphemism, would not choose to use it, due to a lack of real understanding, though in context I kinda get it. Anyway, was reading George Will's editorial this past Sunday in the paper, and I'm completely convinced that this guy reads the dictionary instead of his Bible at nite! Within two or three paragraphs I'm starting to run out of ink in my pen, writing down the words. So, here's the words I've written down in the past two days, some of the crazier ones, up front, from George.

• brio - enthusiastic vigor : VIVACITY, VERVE
• rout - (Remember this from Gulf War 1) - 1 : a state of wild confusion or disorderly retreat 2 a : a disastrous defeat (There's several definitions here.)
• panache - 1 : an ornamental tuft (as of feathers) especially on a helmet 2 : dash or flamboyance in style and action
• anarchy - 1 a : absence of government b : a state of lawlessness or political disorder due to the absence of governmental authority c : a Utopian society of individuals who enjoy complete freedom without government
• ennui - a feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction : BOREDOM
• Utopian - of, relating to, or having the characteristics of a utopia; especially : having impossibly ideal conditions especially of social organization
• ukase - 1 : a proclamation by a Russian emperor or government having the force of law2 : EDICT
• untenable - 1 : not able to be defended 2 : not able to be occupied
• ostensibly - 2 : to all outward appearances
• suzerain - a superior feudal lord to whom fealty is due : OVERLORD
• euphemism - the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant
• cacophony - harsh or discordant sound
• macabre - having death as a subject
• eviscerated - to take out the entrails of (guess which book below I'm reading this came from!)
• pincer - 1 : an instrument having two short handles and two grasping jaws working on a pivot and used for gripping things2 : a claw (as of a lobster) resembling a pair of pincers
• petulant - 1 : insolent or rude in speech or behavior2 : characterized by temporary or capricious ill humor : PEEVISH (Kind of reminds me of someone I know ;^)
• panoply - a : a full suit of armor b : ceremonial attire
• immutable - not capable of or susceptible to change
• surfeit - an overabundant supply
• ineluctably - not to be avoided, changed, or resisted

I'm re-reading The Tibetan Book of The Living & Dying. I love this book. I will give you some of it as I go through it again. Here's some passages I took from it the past couple of days:

• Life & Death are in the mind, and nowhere else.
• Perhaps the deepest reason why we are afraid of death is because we do not know who we are.
• Whatever we have done with our lives makes us what we are when we die. And everything, absolutely everything counts.

And a note I wrote after reading some yesterday: The more time I spend meditating, on my purpose, my source, the more time I seem to have for everything else, since my purpose seems to be to serve, and there's nothing that can keep me from serving all the time, right now. The rush is gone.

And then, a couple quotes from Diet for a New America (by John Robbins). Again, on my second read. This is the book that will make you very, very, very serious about becoming a vegetarian, at least to think twice about the choices you make when you order your next meal. You can stick your head in the sand, at the expense of much suffering!

• Each act of denial, conscious or inconscious, is an abdication of our power to respond. Joanna Rogers Macy.
• Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity. George Bernard Shaw.

Back to getting old (from yesterday's post). Hard to believe that this picture was taken of the person now known as your bobJuan:

Cathy and I joined the gym today, so watch out, younger next year! No really, we're gonna start tomorrow! Cathy has signed up for the Breast Cancer 3-Day walk for this November. About 60 miles in three days. Expect to hear more from us about this as we move along (like the way I use we and us here?). Anyway, she's got some walking to do, and I'm gonna help! We are looking forward to getting in shape, and helping with the cause!

Words and Other Things

Today's words.

• Dichotomy - division into two especially mutually exclusive or contradictory groups or entities
• Acumen - keenness and depth of perception, discernment, or discrimination especially in practical matters
• Traipse - to walk or travel about without apparent plan but with or without a purpose
• Hiatus - an interruption in time or continuity : BREAK; especially : a period when something (as a program or activity) is suspended or interrupted
• Anathema - Several varations, check with the link to Danny.
• Corporeal - having, consisting of, or relating to a physical material body Poem (by Rumi) If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?"

Now some (well maybe) funny. Yesterday Cathy bought me some dearfoam slippers. At christmas she bought me a bath robe. At some point you start to look at what's happening and the clues are all over the place, man, you're old! Anyway, thought I would get a picture, turned out to be two. Then, I kept thinking about it, with the Buddah and all, and the way the poses went on, and then, well HH came to mind. Picture #1 Hugh Hefner, Picture #2 His Holiness. I'm just complex that way.

Inspiration

Finished Wayne Dyer's book, Inspiration today. I saw Wayne last month on PBS, during their fund-raising drive. Topic: Inspiration. I've seen this gentleman on TV before, and he grabbed me again that nite. I have a lot of love and appreciation for a man who can talk for hours without notes (no teleprompter for this guy!). Anyway, he's a master speaker, and he had me with him the whole way. During the talk he told the story of Ryan's Well, a moving, let's get off our ass, we can make a difference kind of story! Ryan was there in the audience with his mother. When Wayne was done telling the story, he looks and says to Ryan "You inspire me. You inspire me. You inspire me." 3 times. How warm and precious. So, I bought the book (didn't surprise my Cathy!). Finished it today. I must say that I get more juice from his speaking than I did from the book, but I do recommend the read. Wayne is from the new-age school, A Course In Miracles, deeply into spirit, God, and essence energies. This kind of stuff finds very little resistance with my own energies, but you knew that already. The book is too new-agey perhaps for evangelicals, even though it is in my opinion completely christian. I can get through the language and the "faith" just fine. The point is to be in touch with your essence, whatever language is used is kind of irrelevant to me. There is some wonderful energy associated with the belief that you really are part of God, and that means some wonderful things in your life when you get connected. God is love, God is abundance, health. These are God, and these are us, in our natural state, before our ego gets control and gets us believing that we are separate. And the more you line up with this God energy the more inspired you become, the more fascinating life can be. In my own case (and more than likely everyone, I reckon) it's uplifting to view life this way, connected, taken care of. Just today, slowing down enough, and focusing on appreciation and wonder, brought some nice, sweet energy to me, and a smile. We're all in this together, we are all one really, children of God, this planet, whatever you want to call it. And the attitude of being of service comes easy, it's Us! How can I help? I enjoyed the message. He ends strong with explanations of what an inspired life is like for him. What else do we want? In terms of all the books I've read on these kinds of matters, this is a nice, easy, and as it turns out, inspirational read. Enjoy it, I did. I logged onto Wayne's website this afternoon to send him an eMail, thanking him for the book. I asked him if he had a place for me and Cathy to stay, next time we were in Maui. We'll see how that goes. Perhaps he'll respond quicker than John McCain does (never!)

Rebel Without a Clue

[Draft Version 1 - January 12th, 2007] Here's something I'm playing around with, just as an exercise in self-reflection, as well as humor hopefully. I've always fashioned myself as a rebel, and I can probably get beau coup (I was gonna go with boo coo on this) folks, at least my parents, to chime in here on this one. Coupled with my obsession with absurdity and you can start to guess what kind of and how much therapy would probably be recommended. I'll start with a stab at the definition, then we'll go see what Danny Webster and Wikipedia have to say: bobJuan says: Rebellion is the act, or attitude of one in defiance or against the status quo. Danny says: Rebellion: a: open, armed, and usually unsuccessful defiance of or resistance to an established government b : an instance of such defiance or resistance And Wikipedia: A rebellion is, in the most general sense, a refusal to accept authority. It may therefore be seen as encompassing a range of behaviors from civil disobedience to a violent organized attempt to destroy established authority. It is often used in reference to armed resistance against an established government, but can also refer to mass nonviolent resistance movements. Those who participate in rebellions are known as "rebels". I think we can use the "usually unsuccessful" part from our friend Danny as a point of departure for this discussion. Rebellion is something I enjoy, it makes me feel alive and different, and of course special. Too often though, us rebels don't rebel enough, deeply enough. And when you can find one who does, you can probably bet their onto something a bit more interesting and fascinating than those who don't bother. For example, I rebel "against" authority, say the church, or the establishment, the way things are. When I dig into this a bit I see that what I am rebelling against is an attitude of complacency, of the end of exploration. It seems to me that the evangelicals of my youth quit looking, asking, searching, and got stuck, already knowing everything. All the answers were known, all the rights and wrongs defined, named, nailed down, and so no real searching or praying was really necessary. So I didn't need to figure out my deal with God on my own, it was prescribed. And then I got old enough to sense what was real for me and what was not. (Well at least what was not). I didn't have my own real connection with God. Next up, rebellion. Now, as an amateur rebel, the approach is to throw the bathwater and the young baby out together (you've heard this expression before, the image is just wrong!). This is the usually unsuccessful approach that Danny mentioned above. Don't look here for anything real, it's all surface crap. Move on. And as an amateur in life, I moved too quickly and didn't recognize what I was truly against; certainly did not have the maturity to recognize that what I was sick of was the stuff that doesn't work for me, the automatic pilot ways in which people behave when they quit searching, once they have it all figured out. The laziness involved in blind acceptance to a norm, whatever that norm is. I'm a Democrat! (what a terrible thing to say, well not as terrible as another name I'm thinking of). I believe there is a God, there is spirit working that we are all a part of. Certainly it is all of us, or it is not true at all. And it seems that the Christians and the Muslims and the what-have-yous have lost track of the sweetness of their origins and have taken up being special! So, it's the being done that I don't like. On the political scene, it's evidenced by voting the ticket. That drives me crazy. When did the thirst for the heart of the ideals get replaced with dogma? Why do religions and organizations loose touch with the why, and practically all of the what, and get stuck in only the how? How can you join a group like that? When it was young and fresh, yes, easy. But now it appears old, stuck and stale (and often cruel). It's a laziness, wanting things to stay the same, holding on to something safe, still, and unfortunately now, dead. No risk. So again, the principals have been glossed over, nailed down, named and defined and it's all now procedural. Yet this is what I am rebelling against, not the original why or what. The connection with your God, wait, with everything I know about all religions is that God is love. Probably, most of the Republican party's original principals (small government, etc.) are something I can get into! So where is my God and my principals, is that not what is on my mind? To not be lazy? Isn't that what a rebel is fighting, complacency, conformity? And how much energy am I willing to invest in getting to my truth, rather than laughing or chiding those who appear to have given up finding theirs? What a waste of time that's been. So, as I see it, there are 2 very relative spots or places to come to rest. First, simply recognizing that a system is dead, and having all the fun of rebelling there (that's where the amateurs hang out). Again, this has been called the usually unsuccessful approach. The second is, if you are so inclined, to move on to truth searching, continuing to participate in this life at your best, never resting in thick, passionate-less dogma. Staying stuck at place #1 is not much better than what the rebel is so rebellious about, being stuck. In my case I've often rebelled myself into a no-mans land where nothing is good enough. Nice! So I rebel against being stuck. Don't get stuck there. Free your mind. Love um all. Be who you want to be, and how you want to be. Rebel against your own apathy. Some quotes: I thought I might find a couple of quotes in my list about this, but there's a bunch, hmmm, rebellion is a theme with me, duh!

• Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves. Henry David Thoreau
• Is not life a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves? Friedrich Nietzsche
• Dogmatism is puppyism come to its full growth. Douglas Jerrold
• A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side. Joseph Addison
• The man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 30 has wasted 20 years of his life. Muhammad Ali
• Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Isaac Asimov
• Predominant opinions are generally the opinions of the generation that is vanishing. Benjamin Disraeli
• You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it is going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it’s always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt. Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
• It is not worth an intelligent man’s time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that. G.H. Hardy
• The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. J. K. Galbraith
• Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago. Bernard Berenson
• And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point. A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; therein they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber-stamps. H.L. Mencken
• We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. Unknown
• In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. Al Rogers
• Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric. Bertrand Russell
• The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones. Keynes
• Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. Oscar Wilde

New Words & Other Words

Some more words I had to lookup over the past few days: Juggernaut - a massive inexorable force, campaign, movement, or object that crushes whatever is in its path Melee - a confused struggle; especially : a hand-to-hand fight among several people Rejoinder - REPLY; specifically : an answer to a reply Slake - SATISFY, QUENCH Myopic - a lack of foresight or discernment : a narrow view of something Impregnable - incapable of being taken by assault : UNCONQUERABLE Indolent - averse to activity, effort, or movement : habitually lazy Some lines from Wayne Dyer's Inspiration Book: I'm almost finished with Wayne's latest book. I might do a book report soon. "There's no way to happiness, happiness is the way. Nothing can make me happy. Happiness & inspiration are what I bring to life, not what I purchase". ... "people have too much month left at the end of the money." Discussing poverty.

Words I've seen this week.

Here are some words I found while reading this week that I had to look up in the dictionary. I found that having a dictionary by my chair is helpful until I find an author that cranks out new words with every paragraph (too much distraction going between the book and the dictionary!). I decided to just write them down when first seen, then look-um-up later.

• byopic - a biographical movie
• calliope - wierd one, saw this while reading about Alfred Hitchcock's love for music.
• maelstrom - a powerful often violent whirlpool sucking in objects within a given radius
• vertiginous - characterized by or suffering from vertigo or dizziness b : inclined to frequent and often pointless change
• archetype - the original pattern or model of which all things of the same type are representations or copies
• travesty - a debased, distorted, or grossly inferior imitation. To make a travesty of something is to "dis" it.
• eschew - to avoid habitually especially on moral or practical grounds
• braggadocio - empty boasting
• apartheid - racial segregation; specifically : a former policy of segregation and political and economic discrimination against non-European groups in the Republic of South Africa
• coiffed - to arrange (hair) by brushing, combing, or curling
• effulgent - radiant splendor

First Hike 2007

Cathy and I headed over to the far east valley for a day hike today. We walked in the beautiful Sonoran Desert for about 2 hours. We're on our way, we've exercised every day this year so far!!!

Younger This Year

I just finished the book Younger Next Year this morning. What a page-turner, the perfect mix of science (by Dr. Lodge) and Real-Life-Funny (by Mr. Crowley). I guess because I'm 51 it's fun and encouraging to get another boost from a couple of guys who are smart, practical and funny. There's no real hype here, just common sense stuff. Once again, I just need to be re-inspired over and over and over again, and these guys are the lastest inspiration for me. I like to think of them as coaches. It's always been a struggle for me to put exercise and physical health at the top of my list. The most important thing has been to be of some use, to have a connected purpose first. I mean, what's the use of being in great shape if you aint doing what you want to do with it? (What's the good of having a nice house without a decent planet to put it on. Thoreau) It's truly been what's the point? So I can keep on keeping on, doing what? So, over the past few years I've been getting on track with the purpose stuff and now I find that getting in shape and being healthy is something that I want as a support for the priority stuff in my life. The authors nicely cover 3 important areas of life: 1) exercise, 2) diet, and 3) involvement in life. Again, there's no preaching here, just common sense encouragement backed by science, which I typically don't need much of, but it's part of the underpinnings that explain why these 3 areas of your life work the way they do. You'll have to get through the science part with an open mind if you're beliefs won't allow you to even listen to any thing to do with what we call evolution. But the book is not about evolution, it's about being younger next year! (It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. Aristotle) I particularly enjoyed the 3rd section, which encourages us to get out and be connected with life. Get a dog, love your wife (or whoever!), volunteer, build bridges. I have seen so many guys just retire, sit around, watch Fox News. Let's get going! Don't get me started on that! So, I want to give this book as a gift to every man I know. And every woman too. They have released one for women, I bet it's great as well. Thanks to my friend Kerry for turning me on to this book, and for that matter, years of the best friendship.